Gotta be somethin more

Sugarland sings, "There's gotta be somethin more, gotta be more than this...". Stacie Orrico shares similar sentiments: "Well it's life, but I'm sure...there's gotta be more than wanting more". Across the world, people are seeking for meaning, purpose, more than the humdrum, everyday life that they're living.
I have faith. I have God. Yet I share this same desire. The only difference for me is my song would be screaming with all its might, "there better be something more"... I know that this life is temporary and afterlife is eternal. We are working for heaven and eternity. But sometimes I can't help but think there better be something good at the end of this fire, this struggle, this trial, this valley.
Life lately--as in, over the last 10 years--has seemed to be one stretched out valley with deeper valleys, Blue fire inside of orange. As soon as I feel I'm even beginning to climb a mountain I lose my footing or my rope breaks and I end up close to where I started, for certain. I am told continually that these continual trials mean God is preparing me. That He knows I can handle it. That He is strengthening me for something greater, something more.
I gotta be honest. I need something more pretty soon, though I'm sure it amuses God to give Him a timeline for His will and wonder. But this continual, ongoing stress and chaos and trial has contributed to an equally ongoing depression and exhaustion and burn out. I believe God is my strength with all my heart. But I don't feel Him. This passed year I feel I have been continually beaten down with one struggle after another. I don't believe I've lost, and I don't believe I'll be beaten. But I do believe I am losing strength, and I am losing the sense of God's power on my side. No matter what I don't lose hope. I don't lose faith. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not giving up. I refuse to quit. Most of the time. Sometimes I feel I've fallen from a valley deep into a crevice and am merely feeling the walls to find any type of foothold so I don't fall deeper into the dismal abyss.
The only hope I have to hold on to is that something great is right around the corner. I guess I am just hoping that around the corner is not as far as it feels, because as soon as I think I'm starting to near it, something else knocks me back. My dad, my job, client and families, lies, loss, grief, ptsd, depression, hopelessness, emotions, stress, memories, family, decisions, responsibility...it has all hit hard this year. All. I scream to be heard and yet barely utter a whisper in quiet desperation to be understood and rescued. But even I don't know what could rescue me other than God, faith and hope...