Compassion and Fatigue

Compassion Fatigue.

Sounds like a pretty word, doesn't it? One that would be written on pictures and in scrapbooks in script, with curls and scrolls and those doopty-doo designs that I cannot think of the name.

But compassion fatigue is nothing close to attractive. Quite the opposite, actually. It was previously and more commonly known as burn-out, though I have to admit that knowing these words were interchangable was a slight breath of relief. Try to tell someone NOT in the health service field that you are burnt-out, and they will tell you to get more sleep or to take a day off. But in the same sentence they will ask if you are continuing to take care of yourself and your spouse and your family and your wifely duties......

However, tell someone you're struggling with compassion fatigue, and you may get a look of confusion or a look of sympathy. CF is serious, and a struggle, and does not necessarily go away with a day of rest. Once you get to that point, it's a process to get back. Sort-of like we explain to clients about the process of change. So hard to take your own advice.

I recently read this great description on website:
You're drained, tapped out, have little energy to give others. We’ve all been there. Usually, after a little break we revive and step back up to the plate. What happens, however, when these feelings don’t pass - going beyond fatigue and turning into something much worse, like apathy? This could spell trouble for those caring for an elderly parent or sick child, or for health care professionals rendering care to others.
This term has replaced the more familiar term "burn-out." It refers to a physical, emotional and spiritual fatigue or exhaustion that takes over a person and causes a decline in his or her ability to experience joy or to feel and care for others. Compassion fatigue is a one-way street, in which individuals are giving out a great deal of energy and compassion to others over a period of time, yet aren’t able to get enough back to reassure themselves that the world is a hopeful place. It’s this constant outputting of compassion and caring over time that can lead to these feelings.

Another site explained it short and simple, but more descript
Caring too much can hurt. When caregivers focus on others without practicing self-care, destructive behaviors can surface. Apathy, isolation, bottled up emotions and substance abuse head a long list of symptoms associated with the secondary traumatic stress disorder now labeled: Compassion Fatigue

Honestly, it was almost slightly relieving to hear that it had a name, and it was not depression, anxiety, bipolar, chronic stress, or the many other disorders doctors have tried to use. The thing is, though those other symptoms may be present, it's become a result, a consequence so to speak, of my profession. Dealing with it and later preventing it is crucial.

As for now, I turn to God. One day I asked my supervisor what to do when you become burned but sleep and self-care do not alleviate it. She paused, and said assuredly, You pray to God for strength. You pray for it to pass, for the energy you need, and for His strength to carry you through. Nothing else will help.

So I continue to pray, and to ask for prayers. I pray for my own struggle with CF to pass, I pray for success over my fatigue, irritability, and decreasing sense of care, and I pray for my family, that they can recognize what is happening and be with me through this journey to an existence where it's not a daily task to wake and arise each morning, waiting for the night to come to go back to sleep. An existence where life is enjoyable, and spending time with family and friends are not just one more item to check off my to-do list.