Step Up

This quote comes at a timely moment in my day (week, month...)... Children are not convenient. They are not easy. They are time-consuming, stressful, exhausting, and quite inconvenient at times. But before this begins to sound like a child-bashing post (which, even in my wildest dreams, I could never compose), I'll get to the point. We make choices, good or bad, and all of our choices have a consequence, good or bad. I tell this to my middle schoolers every day. One in particular challenges me, saying "I can do what I want". To this I reply simply, "Yes, you can. You absolutely have the freedom and right to do what you want. But no matter what that is, there are consequences for your actions. So by choosing to do what you want, you are choosing the result that follows". 

But my rant tonight is not about the kids. It's about the parents. And to those parents, I simply want to say, STEP UP. Man up. Your children did not choose to be put here, you chose to engage in the act that led to his or her birth. You chose to have them. You chose to keep them. Stop treating them like a burden and start treating them like a person. Be the responsible parent and do the right thing.

I'm watching one of my middle schoolers fade away, and it breaks my heart. I'm watching him teeter on the edge between a world of hope, responsibility, goals and a future, and a world of gangs, drugs, money, and negative influences. As I thought about him tonight, I realized that never before have I had such a hard time leaving God "out" of secular counseling, because never before have I counseled a child so desperately in need of knowing his worth. (okay, that may not be true, but this one is quite extreme). This child has experienced a lot, sure, but the biggest is the emotional neglect. That continual message that simply states, "you're not worth it", "you're not important enough" or even, "you're a burden". And it literally puts me in tears. This child is seeking, searching, trying, grasping for anything or anyone that will show him he has worth. 

And yet, I almost feel I can't blame him. I was told today that he won't change. That people never really change, and the best I could hope was to get him through school because the influences outside of school are stronger and more attractive in what they have to offer. And I was discouraged enough from the day to feed into this idea in my heart and in my mind. Thankfully, I have a very wonderful (and very wise) friend that brought me back to reality and reminded me that "God is the originator of change, a god that instituted seasons and growth and life and death. We are not alone in this business of change. We need only remember Who change originates with". I love my friend.

I'm at the point that literally ALL I can do is pray. (I probably should have reached this point from the beginning, but I'm learning...). Pray that God finds him. Pray that God places people in his life to reach out to him. Pray that God speaks to him, whether through me, a teacher, a friend, or family. And pray that in the meantime, God protects him from the possibility of what life could end up like should he continue down his path. My heart is wavering between extreme anger at the parent for being "too tired" to deal with it any more, and sadness at the result that it is causing in her child. 

Step up, parents. When you're too tired, do it anyway. When you're at the end of your rope, keep going. When you're out of strength, push harder. And pray, pray, pray. Your kids are worth it. Give them the love, the safety, the attention, the boundaries, the rules, and the consistency they DESERVE. They don't care if you're perfect. They care if you're there, and not just physically. They care if you show them they are worth it. 

If you don't like where things are headed, step UP, not out.