Following Love Back to the Start

It's a rare evening, as I sit here, processing, after some quiet reading time.

You see, at just over halfway through my third pregnancy, I have developed what I have decided to term, "pregnancy-induced narcolepsy" (yes, I've made this up. I'm qualified :) ). In putting my 3yo to bed, I, too, often find myself sleeping with her for an hour or more, then summoning just enough strength to drag my drooping body to my own bed, leaving little time for cleaning up, prepping, washing, or, well, anything.

But tonight as I found my mind racing and my body ready to go, I decided to read. I've begun reading, "Rising Strong" by Brene Brown, and I can already see why my play therapy instructor is in love. I found myself getting a strong urge to write, something I haven't done in quite some time. Realizing my journal was hidden away in the forbidden place (i.e., my bedroom while my husband is sleeping), I recalled starting a blog quite some time ago. At first, that continued to halt my desire, as I wanted to be able to journal. You know, NOT be vulnerable to an audience of people. Then I remembered I have no followers. HA!

And, of course, for any of you who have read this book (or even just the introduction), you will also know that Brene talks about being VULNERABLE. Well, crap.

So I have to admit, tonight I have nothing of importance to say. I could follow one of the multiple branches my mind has been traveling during the last hour/day/week/month/trimester, but who's to say which is best?

Me. I am saying it is most definitely best I don't try to choose that at the moment.

So, for tonight, I'm just saying I'm back. I'm back to writing. To reading. To exploring. Because when you feel stuck and anxious and distracted and overwhelmed, it truly is best to get back to the basics. And I've realized in the MULTIPLE times that the question, "what are your coping skills?" has come up, that while I have them, I don't use them (yep, even therapists don't always follow their own advice!) And now, more than ever, I NEED to use them.

So, whether the world is ready for me or not, here I am. Just me, remembering why I started this blog to begin with. To follow love. To find my passion. To express my heart. To just be me, and to hopefully find some lifers who want to come along for the ride.